scs Fairy Tales

By Authors Unknown

Pantomime Spoilers

Aladdin looked at the old, dirty and dented lamp and threw it in the river.

Ali Baba stood exactly in front of the cave and cursed because he couldn't remember 'the word'.

Cinderella's Fairy Godmother had a hot date and didn't turn up until 3am the next morning.

Goldilocks suffered from Ursidaephobia and made a point of avoided bears and their habitats.

The Snow Queen looked out the window and saw that a thaw had set in overnight.

Jack couldn't grow a beard never mind a Beanstalk.

Little Red Riding Hood got mugged by another hoodie on the way to Grandmother's house.

Beauty looked at the Beast and decided that looks actually were at the top of her list.

Peter Pan suffered from both vertigo and air-sickness.

Dick Whittington didn't like cats and, being somewhat deaf, never heard the Bow Bells.

Snow White was 5' 10" and hated being with men who were shorter than she was.

Sleeping Beauty reported the old woman with the banned spindle to the Palace Guards.

Puss had corns and bunions and couldn't wear boots.

Robinson Crusoe landed on the coast of California and wished he were on a desert island.

Jack and Jill had been drinking and sniffing glue and couldn't get off the floor to go for water.

The Babes starved to death in the woods within 48 hours.