Bubba's Birth Signs

By Billy Joe Billy-Bob Jenkins (Jawja correspondent)

OKRA . . . 22nd December - 20th January

Okras are tough on the outside but tender on the inside and have tremendous influence. Any older Okra can look back over his / her life and see the seeds of their influence everywhere. They can do something good each day if they try.

CHITLIN . . . 21st January - 19th February

Although Chitlins come from humble backgrounds, they have lots of seasoning, and will make something of themself if motivated. In dealing with Chitlins, be careful as they may surprise you. They can erupt like Vesuvius. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra.

BOLL WEEVIL . . . 20th February - 20th March

Boll Weevils have an overwhelming curiosity and are unsatisfied with the surface of things. They feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say, they are very intense and driven as if they have some inner hunger. They love to stay busy and tend to work too much. Nobody in their right mind is going to marry one, so don't worry about it.

MOON PIE . . . 21st March - 20th April

Moon Pies are the type that spend a lot of time on the front porch. It's a cinch to recognize them by physical appearance. Big and round are the key words here. They should marry anybody who is remotely interested in the idea. but it's not going to be easy. They always have a big smile and are happy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Then maybe not.

POSSUM . . . 21st April- 21st May

When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a don't-bother-me-about-it attitude. Sometimes they become so withdrawn, people actually think they're dead. This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy but seems to work for them. They are a rare breed. Most folks love to watch them work and play. They are night persons and mind their own business.

CRAWFISH . . . 22nd May - 21st June

Crawfish is a water sign. If they work in an office, they're found hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, and the bathtub to the living room. They tend not to be particularly attractive physically, but have very, very good heads.

COLLARDS . . . 22nd June - 23rd July

Collards have a genius for communication and love to get in "the melting pot" of life and share their essence with the essence of those around them. Collards make good social workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. Collards should stay away from Crawfish. The relationship just won't work and they can save themself a lot of heartache.

CATFISH . . . 24th July - 23rd August

Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, although their whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. Catfish are never easy people to understand. They run fast, work hard and play hard. Even though they prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life, they are liked by most. Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.

GRITS . . . 24th August - 23rd September

Their highest aim is to be with others like themself. They like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits. They love to travel, so maybe they should think about joining a club. Where do they like to go? Anywhere they have cheese, gravy, bacon, butter, or eggs and a good time. If they can go somewhere where they can have all these things, they are well-served. They are pure in heart.

BOILED PEANUTS . . . 24th September - 23rd October

They have a passionate desire to help their fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know them best, their friends and loved ones, may find that their personality is much too salty, and any criticism will affect them deeply because they are really much softer than they appear. They should go right ahead and marry anybody they want to because, in a certain way, they have a charmed life. On the road of life, they can be sure that people will always pull over and stop.

BUTTER BEANS . . . 24th October - 22nd November

Always invite a Butter Bean to a party because Butter Beans get along well with everybody. Butter Beans should be proud that they've grown on the vine of life, and feel at home no matter what the setting. They can sit next to anybody. However, they, too, shouldn't have anything to do with Moon Pies.

ARMADILLO . . . 23rd November - 21st December

They have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but are actually quite gentle and kind inside. A good evening for them consists of old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms, and insects. They are throwbacks who are not concerned with today's fashions and trends or anything else about today. Almost prehistoric in their interests and behavior patterns, they probably want to marry another Armadillo, but a Possum is another possibility.